I know you. I know the mask you wear, the one made of niceness, hiding your true nature. Beneath that smile and those kind gestures lies a weakness—one that stems from a lack of true character and strength. I’ve seen it in the way you’ve allowed yourself to be harmed by others, ever since you became an illegal immigrant, ever since you lost that fight against that man. Since then, you’ve become a puppet to those around you, no longer standing up for yourself, no longer asserting your own will.

Look at who you’ve become. People call you “the nice T.” They see you as the harmless, easy-going guy, the one who avoids trouble and keeps the peace. But in truth, that label is simply a reflection of the battles you’ve lost, the ones you never fought, the moments when you submitted without a second thought. You’ve allowed yourself to be shaped by others, unconsciously submitting to their demands, avoiding conflicts that you should have faced head-on. People may praise you for your niceness, but do they truly respect you?

The truth is, to be respected is far more valuable than to be called the “nice guy.” Niceness, when it is merely a tool to please others, is not a virtue. It is a sign of weakness. It is easy to be kind to those who deserve it, but kindness toward those who take advantage of it is not justice. It’s a vice. I’ve come to realize that by always choosing to be nice, I’ve let others dictate my worth. In the process, I’ve avoided confronting my deepest fears and demons. I’ve tried to fill the void within me by being excessively kind to others, as if my niceness could somehow compensate for my own internal emptiness. But I’ve learned that the only way to fill that void is to become strong.

It’s not about being harsh, cruel, or unkind. I don’t ask you to become mean. What I ask is that you become strong—strong in who you are, strong in your convictions, and strong enough to put yourself in a position of power, where you no longer feel compelled to be nice to those who don’t deserve it. Strength is not about being confrontational for the sake of it. It’s about being confident in your boundaries and your worth. When you’re strong in all areas of your life, you don’t need to rely on niceness to protect you. You can afford to treat others justly and not let your kindness be misused.

But why, you might ask, are you this nice? Why have you allowed niceness to define you? The truth is, you were told it’s a virtue. But who told you that? Those who benefit from your niceties. You were taught that niceness is the key to acceptance and peace, but in reality, it often leaves you empty, unfulfilled, and taken advantage of. The niceness that you so deeply believe in has only served to prevent you from achieving the things you truly desire in life. It’s the reason you face hardships that others do not, the reason some people do not respect you as a man to be reckoned with. The truth is, your niceness is both your greatest asset and one of your worst liabilities. You don’t yet know where it applies and where it doesn’t. To be nice when necessary is to be just. But to be kind to everyone without discernment is to weaken yourself.

This realization has changed my understanding of myself. I no longer want to be defined by my niceness. I want to be defined by my strength, by my ability to stand firm in my values, to say no when I must, and to treat others justly—not because I fear conflict, but because I know my worth. Niceness, when it is wielded with wisdom and strength, can be a virtue. But without discernment, it becomes a weakness. I have to learn when it is appropriate to be nice and when it’s necessary to stand my ground. To be just is not to avoid discomfort, but to face the truth of what is right and act on it.

I urge you, my friend: stop letting niceness be your crutch. Stop letting it be the mask you wear to avoid conflict or protect your ego. Instead, embrace strength. Find the courage to face your demons and grow from the challenges life throws at you. Strength is not a sign of cruelty; it’s a sign of integrity. Be strong in every area of your life—so that when it matters, you won’t be compelled to act nicely toward those who don’t deserve it.

Niceness is a powerful tool when used correctly. But it’s not enough to just be nice. You must be just, you must be strong, and you must know when to stand your ground. This is the path to true respect and fulfillment.